The notoriously egocentric, three-time Super Bowl LOSER can’t even be bothered to present up for the Patriots’ non-mandatory organized group actions (OTAs). It’s a rift that threatens to tear a gap within the mild material of each New England’s sense of camaraderie and head coach Bill Belichick’s coronary heart. The concept a three-time MVP would have fewer than 4 months of observe earlier than beginning his 19th season is one that would crush his legacy and the Pats’ postseason hopes in a single fell swoop.
But the Patriots aren’t the one group going through some very actual, franchise-derailing red flags within the extraordinarily necessary NFL month of May. Squads throughout the league are discovering new points to cope with each day and, within the spirit of full disclosure, even tweeting about them.
Here are the opposite teams we’d like to be nervous about as non-mandatory OTAs start in earnest throughout the nation.
Seattle Seahawks: Russell Wilson is just too targeted on canine poop
Wilson’s obtained an issue. One that threatens to steal his focus because the season wears on:
Fortunately, the Super Bowl-winning quarterback spared us the visible, however his submit brings up a number of different considerations. Namely that he’s obtained three Great Danes at dwelling, and that’s only a super quantity of poop to cope with, no matter pet diarrhea. Is this going to distract him from his play-calling talents? Keep him from placing in additional reps in his yard? Will he have to rush dwelling to have a tendency to his baby when it inevitably tries to journey one of many canine like a horse and falls off?
And pay attention to the best way he finishes off that video. Is “UNLIMITED…Diarrhea” his new model signifier? Is he going to trademark it? Is “unlimited diarrhea” sure to be as big as nanobubbles?
Los Angeles Rams: punter Johnny Hekker’s obtained nothing to do
OTA’s on and poppin right now.
Still largely standing round wanting busy for me; not less than I’ll be carrying a helmet wanting actual official.
— Johnny Hekker (@JHekker) May 21, 2018
At least he’s obtained a helmet to put on. Is this a part of Sean McVay’s technique of going for it on fourth down it doesn’t matter what subsequent yr? Or is Hekker simply showcasing his personal laziness by failing to volunteer himself for scout group reps at security, fullback, or offensive deal with? Either approach, it’s a evident instance of making a gift of an excessive amount of info during this vitally necessary formative practices. At least he’s staying out of hazard, in contrast to …
Los Angeles Rams: Aaron Donald is understanding in a boiler room
Aaron Donald will miss OTAs for the second yr in a row as a result of he thinks he deserves to receives a commission like a Defensive Player of the Year, I suppose. So now he has to work out by himself and fairly than select a health club like a traditional particular person, Donald determined to raise weights standing subsequent to an equipment that would, AT BEST, singe off all of the hair off his physique. Is it kind of harmful than his other favorite workout, dodging knives? I’m unsure, however possibly that is why the Rams hold refusing to pay up.
Baltimore Ravens: Joe Flacco’s high-five recreation will not be elite
So primary. These are the bubble screens of excessive fives. Or, extra precisely, low fives. Guy can’t even be bothered to be proactive and lift an arm up for Robert Griffin III and Lamar Jackson. A transparent lapse in management, and an indication Flacco might actively dislike his backups.
San Francisco 49ers: ARE PLAYING EVERY SPORT EXCEPT FOOTBALL
#49ers energy and conditioning coach Ray Wright has made competitors a staple of every day during the offseason program (offense vs. protection vs. particular teams).
Looks like he is gotten inventive, integrating soccer and spike ball. pic.twitter.com/7MnETDRfOL
— Joe Fann (@Joe_Fann) May 21, 2018
Look, the 49ers are clearly getting cocky. After ending final season on a five-game successful streak, the group ISN’T EVEN PLAYING FOOTBALL in any of these footage. Or fairly, they’re, simply not the kind REAL AMERICANS care about. And what can Spikeball inform you about your teammates? Only which of them spent their offseasons getting excessive at their native public parks.
New York Giants: Saquon Barkley is making Eli Manning hate him
Look at this dumb rookie, asking questions and bothering Eli Manning. Sure, it could be humorous now, however how’s it going to look when he blows a blitz pickup project, then asks his quarterback what his protection was whereas Manning pries his helmet from out of the turf? Plus, Tom Brady’s absence has highlighted simply how necessary these exercises are for a veteran quarterback and his group. How is Eli going to get probably the most out of that with some child following him round and making an attempt to get his consideration like Navi from Ocarina of Time?
Chicago Bears: first–spherical decide Roquan Smith is extra eager about kissing camels than protecting his playbook
Best case state of affairs, this is useful if some enterprising group — most likely the Browns — will get determined sufficient to strive an Air Bud: Golden Receiver trick within the close to future, however go for the steadiness and deep hydration qualities of a camel. This is very unlikely.
Cleveland Browns: Baker Mayfield spends an excessive amount of time taking part in Fortnite, does dance like an angel, nonetheless
Playing an excessive amount of Fortnite may or may not have given Red Sox starter David Price carpal tunnel syndrome. Can the No. 1 total decide afford to take such a threat? That zig-zag drop-down movement seems like hell on the ACLs, too. When you’re a Browns quarterback, it is smart to tempt destiny as little as doable.
Atlanta Falcons: Calvin Ridley is coming for Julio Jones’ job
Jones is NFL’s all-time chief in receiving yards per recreation with a mean of 95.three yards. So you’ll be able to’t actually fault him for wanting more cash.
davante adams, sammy watkins, and jarvis landry are making greater than julio proper now. his contract is outdated now lol https://t.co/YyZtS6JQV3
— charles mcdonald (a man on the airport) (@FourVerts) May 18, 2018
But to present the Falcons he needs more cash, Jones is sitting out OTAs. That leaves the door large open for first-round decide Calvin Ridley to are available in and steal his job.
DRAMA, DISCONTENT, CONFLICT, OH MY!