I Watched “The Bachelor” Australia Premiere And Yelled At My TV A Lot

The Bachelor Australia is again! With probably the most, er, ~distinctive~ Bachelor but: the Honey Badger. To say I’m not convinced by this casting is a little bit of an understatement, however, like Diet Coke and scrolling by Twitter till 2am each night time, The Bachelor is one thing I simply can not seem to give up. Here are a number of the ideas I had whereas watching the premiere…

1. Ugh I cannot consider I’m being subjected to SPORTING HIGHLIGHTS on The Bachelor. This needs to be a secure house.

2. “I’m the flamin’ bachelor!” Keep it.

three. Where is the shirtless montage that culminates within the Bachie staring thoughtfully on the ocean? I really feel ripped off.

four. “The Honey Badger…” Is he…is he talking about himself within the third individual?

5. Drink each time he says “fair dinkum”. 

6. (Don’t do this. Your liver is not going to cope.)

7. “I’m pretty well shitting my dacks.” Shannon is ideal for the Honey Badger.

eight. “Jeez, you scrub up alright.” And they are saying romance is useless.

9. Did he simply say “you’ve gotta get the chassis moving”?!?!?

10. “I’m a bit of a weirdo…I skate.” Yeah that’s tremendous bizarre, my gal.

11. Oooh Brooke completely has the winners music enjoying! 

12. “I’ve got a pair of balls.” Omg Brooke. 

13. I love that she has no concept who the Honey Badger is, despite the fact that she’s into footy. 

14. And she’s educating HIM methods to play! I AM LIVING FOR THIS.

15. She’s too good for him tbh.

16. “I am here…for the buffet.” Brittany is a woman after my very own coronary heart.

17. “Maybe you can be my 50th (country).” That…doesn’t make any sense.

18. Cayla getting the ~kooky~ music. To be honest, she may be very ~kooky~. 

19. Aaand Cat’s getting the villain music! Hello, I am prepared for some drama.

20. Ooh we’re stepping into the unimportant montage ladies now.

21. “I cannot consider I know who this man is.” I imply he is actually a celeb, Cass.

22. “We know each other pretty well” *whispers* they’ve fucked.

23. At least he remembers her identify.

24. More montage ladies!


26. “And the BANTER!” *reduce to very bland dialogue that doesn’t remotely resemble banter*

27. If he says “chew the fat” yet one more time I s2g.

28. Oh whats up, Dasha getting the SEXY SEXY SEX music. 

29. No marvel, with THAT MOVE she simply pulled on him.

30. I am really speechless rn.

31. “NOT thrilled.” Same, Vanessa Sunshine. Same.

32. “I’ll just give him a makeover.” PLEASE, PLEASE DO.

33. Did he simply get distracted by her boobs? Hmmmmmm.

34. Say Vanessa Sunshine once more.

35. “This is The Bachelor, not ‘Make New Girlfriends’.” Um however can that be a present please? 10/10 would watch, would apply.

36. Cat: “I don’t want to create drama.” Me: surejan.jpg.

37. Cass has zero chill. 

38. I hate to interrupt it to you sweetie, however being born in the identical city doesn’t imply you’re meant to be collectively. See: your whole courting historical past, I’m certain, seeing as you at the moment are single and on this present.

39. I’d be extra excited to see Osher than the Honey Badger, too.

40. Is that the important thing to the Honey Badger’s chastity belt?

41. Oh no, simply his Bachelor Pad. 

42. An all entry go, for use at ANY TIME! Am I watching American Bachelor swiftly?

43. “He looks like a cute little cauliflower.” Oh.


45. Cat: “Will you come over with me?” Alisha: “ABSOLUTELY. I want front row seats.”

46. Can somebody inform Cat ) it’s completely okay that this was courting your ex, seeing as he’s YOUR EX and all; and b) you’re actually in a contest for one man proper now so it is best to in all probability calm your farm on the jealousy entrance. 

47. “I have no idea who you are.” Yep, that is EXACTLY the type of factor you’d say to a Regular Person Who You Definitely Don’t Recognise As Being Famous.

48. “Let’s go for a fang…let’s have a yarn.” I hate this.

49. I see Alisha is our self-designated commentator.

50. That was a horrible joke, Brooke, however I love you anyway.

51. I am smiling at this interplay with Brooke, VERY MUCH in opposition to my will as a result of ugh the Honey Badger. 

52. Cass informed the universe she wished the Honey Badger and right here she is, terrifying him in entrance of your entire nation. 

53. Some producer 1000% simply informed Kayla it was a genius transfer to leap within the pool, and is quietly cackling off digicam.

54. The truth the Honey Badger has singled out Brooke, and given her a rose and the important thing to his ~pad~, reveals he has SOME style I suppose.

55. Cass: “I’m fine!” Narrator: She was not wonderful.

56. “I mean I didn’t leave my life for nothing.” Vanessa Sunshine is like if Laurina and Keira had a child. 

57. Wait who even left?! Did I blink and miss it or did they not even trouble to indicate it?

58. Ugggh I am nonetheless not satisfied AT ALL of the Honey Badger as the Bachelor however FINE I’LL KEEP WATCHING I GUESS.

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